Haiti: Post 2: Ritchy

My second post about Haiti. The one I have been putting off writing (and posting) not because it is bad but because of the emotion that goes along with it.

While in Haiti I fell in love. Not a romantic love; I am happily married and have already had that experience. I fell in love with the children at Danita’s Children and more specifically one child in particular. His name is Ritchy, and when I got on the plane to leave Haiti I felt like I was leaving my child behind. I enjoyed (and love) many things about Haiti, but the honest truth is that little boy holds a very special piece of my heart and seeing him remains my strongest desire to go back.

I didn’t plan on this when I went to Haiti and even now it seems strange to me. I spent only three weeks with Ritchy (and often only a few hours a day) and somehow I left Haiti feeling like I entered motherhood. I don’t have children of my own so I suppose one could argue that I don’t know what motherhood feels like. I desire to have a family, I love children, I have a strong maternal instinct and yet, what I feel for Ritchy is none of those feelings. The connection I have with him is special.

I love all the children at Danita’s children and think of many of them often, but there is something about Ritchy I just can’t explain with the correct words. Actually, I couldn’t even explain the connection to Ritchy himself or have him explain it to me because we don’t speak the same language! I like to label it a motherly connection but the truth is I can’t be a mother to Ritchy because he lives in Haiti and I live in the United States. He lives in a country that makes adoption very hard and my husband and I are in a place where we couldn’t really consider adoption even if it was easier.

I have had to learn to just appreciate what I can do. Right now that means offering sponsorship so Ritchy can go to school at the orphanage and have meals. I also try to send letters and small gifts once a month so he knows how much I think of him. The most important thing though has been trying not to dwell on the fact that while I feel motherly towards Ritchy I will probably never be his mother. I know he is well taken care of and loved by many at Danita’s children. It is hard to not be the one there for him but I know my place is in the United States and there are others whose place is in Haiti.

When I finally learned to accept those above facts I had my moments where I wondered, why? Why do I feel this love and connection to a child who is worlds away from me? Why can’t I just love Ritchy the way I love the other children at Danita’s Children and not feel a special motherly-type love for him? I don’t have the answers to those questions, but I do know that love is not a bad thing. And this motherly-type love is really deep and must be making me a better person to be experiencing it (even when I sometimes worry about things I can’t possibly control from all these miles away). Even if I only see Ritchy once a year I would like to think he knows how deep my love is, remembers it when I am away, and maybe really needs it, from me, more than any other child in Haiti does. I don’t know. Those are things I trust to God.

So I went to Haiti just planning on getting some hands on clinic experience and instead I did some major growing up. Such is life, you never know what will change you.

Haiti (Part 1)

In order to keep this post from being too long I have decided to write about Haiti in parts. Writing about the experience all at once resulted in me writing a few lines and getting frustrated about how to express everything I wanted to. So breaking it down should help avoid that (and keep my readers from getting bored!)

For this first Haiti entry I want to share about why I went down to Haiti in the first place and how my experience was in some ways what I expected and in many ways so much more.

My dad has been traveling back and forth to Haiti since the 2010 earthquake and has been living in Haiti full time for almost a year. In order to move to Haiti my dad had to give up a lot, including a business in the states (I will refrain from details as they are not mine to tell). And yet, whenever I spoke to him he seemed so happy where he was. A part of me understood since I have a heart for helping others as well and yet another part of me wondered what could possibly be so special about this place that my father would give up things that had been very important to him while I was growing up. My dad was changing and developing a new life I knew little about so I decided to go to Haiti so he could share it with me.

From the moment he picked me up in the airport I could see the difference Haiti had made in my dad. He was a calmer and happier person. In fact, as the days went on I realized that this was the happiest I had seen my dad in my entire life! He didn't always know the language but somehow he just fits there. It is like my dad found his purpose in Haiti, his passion, and isn't that what we all need to be our happiest?

It was great to see what my dad does everyday while I spent my weeks in Haiti. Trust me, it is not glamorous, but it is very much needed! It was nice to finally meet all the people he talks about and to be a part of helping those in need. It didn't take me long to realize why my dad fell in love with Haiti and by the end of my stay I was in love with Haiti as well for a variety of reasons: for the happiness it has brought to my dad's life, the loving people I met, the orphans I cared for, the chance to really feel needed and helpful. Yes, Haiti has my heart and while I may not have plans to move there like my dad, I will be taking every opportunity I can to visit!