Strength

As I get ready to finish these last couple weeks of school I have been thinking about the word strength.

Partly my own strength. I have put a lot of effort into these last 9 or so months and it has really paid off. Many hours of studying, working in clinics and countless other activities have gotten me to a point where I am only a couple weeks away from finishing my first year of medical school! One step closer to my dream. I joke about how I still don't know a whole heck of a lot, but when I look back there are a lot of things I have learned. I may not know much about disease (I know some basics but the heavy stuff is in Year 2), but I do know a lot about how a normal human body works and I have invested countless hours learning basic interview skills and about doctor/patient relationships. I won't lie: I am beyond eager to learn some actual physical diagnosis but I have seen first hand how asking the right questions is equally important.

I also have to acknowledge the strength of my support system. Friends and family have done their best to understand when phone calls and visits were few and far between. They have laughed as my vocabulary did not always remain lay man friendly, and most importantly they have prayed for me when my nerves sky rocketed before every test. (Though I am sure they never doubted I would pass every one). No matter the times I did not believe in myself I always had a number of people believing in me and it means a lot. I can not forget that my husband has been the best trooper of all. While others may be just a phone call away he has to live with me. His patience while I have tried to figure out better study habits, while I sought out a doctor to treat my migraines, while I cried after exams only to find out I passed and a number of other crazy things has been amazing. It wasn't always easy but for a pair of newlyweds we sure did make it work.

Lastly, as this school year comes to an end I marvel at the strength of some of the patients I have had the pleasure to serve this year. My first "patient" was my cadaver in anatomy lab and I will always be grateful for the sacrifice she and her family made so that I could learn. In more clinical settings I saw people this year who had any number of ailments and yet there were always those that handled their situation with such grace. At the free clinic I met numerous patients who were so grateful for the care they received even when the waits were a little longer then they wanted them to be. I cold share many stories but one sticks out in my mind: it was a woman we met for one of our clinical days at school.  Her father had been diagnosed with Huntington's Disease and had passed away a number of years earlier. For those who don't know HD is a genetic disorder that involves degeneration of neurons in the brain causing a number of neurological effects. When people are younger the symptoms are often more psychological such as anger or depression but they lead to physical symptoms such as tremors and paralysis later in life. It differs for all patients but if someone is diagnosed with HD they will develop the physical symptoms at some point in their life. After this young woman's father passed she was tested and found out she is positive for HD. Despite this horrific diagnosis she makes a life for herself. She is married and had twin girls using IVF and screening so that her daughters would not inherit the gene for HD. She lives her life happily and does not dwell on what might be except to educate medical students on HD and what it does to families. I admire her strength and hope I will continue to appreciate such qualities in all my future patients.

I know this summer is going to be a great learning experience. Three weeks in Haiti and then externships in Family Medicine, Emergency Medicine, Internal Medicine and OB/GYN. Then onto Year 2!